Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
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We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
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Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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