ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
