Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
