I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
