Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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