So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
