So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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