The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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