Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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