those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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