Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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