I can text with my tongue
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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