you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
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We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
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If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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