He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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