If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
