I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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