dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wish life had little blips of pornography
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
