So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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