I cockslap morals
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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