I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
