So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize