Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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