he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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