I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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