Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
