So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
