yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
