dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I can't turn off my feet"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
