I heard we made out
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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