If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
