you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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