very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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