I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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