you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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