remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I had to cum in my sink.
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