you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
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Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
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new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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