so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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