I molested 6 butterflies tonight
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
