apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize