Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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