I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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