WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
