I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
