She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
