Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize