Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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