I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
