tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
