all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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