he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
