I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Every concussion has its silver lining
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
