is your mom at the bar?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
whose parrot is this?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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