Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
