she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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