I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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