? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
