what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
