You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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