I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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