I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
