We're facebook friends in real life
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
